And it's taking a toll on her body, her energy, her bank account, but not her spirit.
Jennifer's eyes are wide open as she moves through this next challenge in her life. When she first got the diagnosis of Stage 4 Cancer, the doctor told her it is not curable but is treatable. Believing my sister to be relatively young (she just turned 57) and strong, her oncologist has outlined an aggressive plan of 'throwing everything she's got" at the disease.
As my sister sat with the diagnosis, and did the dreaded act of googling outcomes, she began to confront how sobering and serious the situation is. My very favorite thing she said to me is, "I don't feel sorry for myself."
She says the people at the treatment center are so kind, gentle and supportive. During her first round of chemo she had some reaction that the center had never seen before. I can't exactly describe it but she said something like different veins were alternately visibly throbbing, almost like a symphony. And that inside, she felt like everything was electric. The staff did research and discovered that 9 other people (in the country?) had a similar response, so now they disclose this as a possible side effect. We Benners ... we are unique!
When I googled out-of-pocket expenses for cancer treatment I found an article by the AARP that suggested the average amount spent is $150,000. That's eye-popping and incredibly distressing. Jennifer has already emptied her admittedly small savings paying co-pays and deductibles. She's on medical disability from her Supervisor position at a factory and currently receiving 60% of her salary. Now she's beginning to conceive of a plan to return to work in November so she doesn't lose medical insurance.
I've been doing research on how to use food to create an inhospitable environment for cancer. I brought her a bunch of fresh, healthy food, created a few meals for her, and am sending recipes that she's excited to try, and finds to be delicious. Before her next round of chemo she'll see my Mom's acupuncturist, in the hopes that the treatment helps smooth out the debilitating effects of toxic medicine. I'm grateful to have the ability to cover the cost of acupuncture, and wish I was able to do so much more.
To that end I have started a Go Fund Me for Jennifer so she and her wife, Kara, can focus on healing and not fearing. Truth be told, I'm also the first anonymous contributor. So far the only place the fundraiser has reached an audience is Facebook and Instagram and ... wow. Every time I see a new contribution I almost cry. It's so poignant and so tender and so humbling. One of Jennifer's friends in Missouri expressed disappointment that she could only offer a modest amount. She even commented that "it seems so small." But the fact that she wanted to give something when she has so little herself actually made me cry.
I'm posting the Go Fund Me page here so that If you have the means and inclination to donate, we all appreciate it immensely. No amount is too small. If all you can afford is a prayer or wish or aspiration for the best possible outcome, trust me, we're grateful for that too. Her full name is Jennifer Lorri Paziora-Benner in case that helps you direct positive energy and healing vibes her way.
I would never ask for anything for myself, but I'll do everything in my power to help my family and people I love! If I can help you in some way, please let me.
My sister is so funny. She's got a quick wit, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes silly. She always makes me laugh. She's got a great work ethic; she's honest, loyal, loving and clear. She sees what's important and doesn't sweat the small stuff. She gives people a wide berth to be who they are, and she also holds people accountable. She's not afraid to speak her mind and there is so much I admire about her.
She's been clean for over 16 years, which has been quite a triumphant battle. She's now applying this tenacity and fortitude to battling cancer. Thank you for letting yourself be touched by this story.
Truly,
Corina
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